Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex helps women develop healthy, godly relationships

BELLEVILLE, ON—Two days before her wedding, "Mary" went into her pastor's office with questions about sex. What she got was a stern lecture on how she shouldn't ask such questions until after she was married. Even on her honeymoon, the stern warning echoed in her ears.

"I felt so guilty about everything," she said. "Even though I was now married, it felt like I was doing something wrong."

Sheila Wray-Gregoire, author of The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, understands.

"The biggest problem that churches run into with pre-marital counselling," she says, "is that we spend all our time saying 'don't do it, don't do it, don't do it,' and then when people get married, suddenly the switch is supposed to go the other way."

Her new book is aimed at helping women—both married and engaged—get encouraging, and practical advice about developing a good sexual relationship with their spouses. She is now developing a series of Girl Talk events, which are intended to be a fun and safe place for women of all ages to talk about their sexual questions.

Great physical intimacy is something which develops over time, Gregoire says, and rarely appears in an instant like a Hollywood movie.

Remembering how nervous she was on her own wedding night, Gregoire wants to encourage young married couples not to put too much pressure on themselves.

"If you end up spending the first few days just getting comfortable with each other, and it's not physical fireworks, that's okay. If you jump in wholeheartedly, that's okay, too.

"Relax! Let what happens, happen. You have decades to get this right."

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