ChristianWeek

When our daughter Zara was just a few months old, someone told me to make sure I enjoyed every minute. “The days are long, but the years are short,” he said. It’s true. Ten months have gone by like 10 minutes. It seems only a moment ago I was holding my newborn in my arms; now I’m back at my ChristianWeek desk.

I have to admit, I return with mixed feelings. I enjoy my job, but my newly-minted mother’s heart still feels a little bruised as I kiss Zara’s sweet face goodbye each morning. She’s having a blast with her new babysitter, but I’m sad because I know it’s likely I’ll miss some milestones. And what if she gets sick or hurt? What if she forgets me? Irrational, I know, but those are my thoughts nonetheless.

It’s truly amazing how much I need that little girl. I need her excited babble and wide grin and curious nature. I need her contented gaze as she snuggles in my arms. I need her laughter. I even need her tears, because for the time being I’m usually the one who has a solution. She has my heartstrings firmly in her sticky little grip.

But I also know that letting go is part of life. If nothing else, the role of Mommy is teaching me that change is inevitable, and for the most part good (especially when it comes to things like diapers and daily habits).

So, I come back to ChristianWeek with a somewhat divided focus, but expecting it will eventually settle into a solid routine. I take comfort in the fact that even though I can’t be with Zara all the time, I know the One who is. After all, I sing about Him every night. If Jesus loves me and has the whole world in His hands, who am I to worry or entertain irrational thoughts?

Even so, I’d still love to find a way to slow down time, just for a little bit.