One day, an elder asked me what I most enjoyed doing in church. “Playing the drums!” I quickly said. It is what I do most Sunday mornings, but later, I thought, “Oh, that wasn’t a very spiritual answer. I should have said it was ‘leading a small group.’ Or ‘men’s ministry.’”

On further reflection, I take that back. I decided that playing the drums is in no way unspiritual. It’s a ministry. I’m certainly not up there to put on a show. What I try to do is give our music team a steady rhythm—a foundation on which they can add their own instruments and voices, which in turns enables the entire congregation to worship as one.

Spiritual act of worship

But more than that, I’ve come to realize that playing the drums is essentially my spiritual act of worship. It gives me a sense of abandonment, a brief release from feelings of self-consciousness. And it gives me joy, because I am absolutely not doing it for anyone else but Jesus.

As long as my playing helps others to worship and praise Him (and I don’t get carried away or too loud), I really have no regard for what anyone thinks of me.

As the ark of God was carried into to Jerusalem (2 Sam. 6), David was “leaping and dancing before the Lord,” wearing little more than his underwear. His wife was appalled by this “vulgar” performance. But David unashamedly replied that he was prepared to “become even more undignified than this” for the sake of celebrating God’s goodness.

I’m not proposing we follow David’s literal example, but I find his honesty and candor very appealing. He was not afraid to yield completely to his love for God, even if it meant publicly embarrassing himself. By contrast, I think far too often we hesitate to wear our hearts on our sleeves. We strive so hard to please or appease God that we dare not confess our hurts and failures out of fear that if we do, He and everyone else will think less of us.

Yes, worship “should be done in a fitting and orderly way” (1 Corinthians 14:40). Chaos is not worship. But neither do we honour God when we put on a happy face every Sunday and tell anyone who asks that we’re “doing just great” when we know we’re not.

Nor am I suggesting that we should not seek to please God. But just pushing ourselves to do better next time gets us nowhere, because that means we’re relying on our own willpower to change ourselves. Like making a New Year’s resolution, we may be well intentioned, but good intentions alone can never guarantee success.

Appreciate the grace of God

What seems lacking among so many believers is an appreciation of the grace of God. Someone once called grace “the face love wears when it meets imperfection.” We don’t have to chase after God’s love. He loves us despite all our flaws and failures. It is only when we trust Him by faith to be who He says He is—which is unconditional love (1 John 4:7)—that we can know this amazing grace.

I could say that playing the drums on Sunday is a lot of fun, which is true, and just leave it at that. But it is so much more: it is my love offering to God for having saved a wretch like me. Now if only joy could permeate the rest of my life.