The three of us grew up as good friends under similar influences in a stronghold of Christian fundamentalism in rural Alberta. We pursued divergent paths following high school and although I haven’t seen or spoken with either of them since, mutual friends report they’ve both subsequently “come out of the closet” as homosexuals.

Garth and Sarah came to mind as I visited the World Jubilee Convention of the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) that met July 18-26 right here in Bishop Fred Henry’s backyard at the Epcor Centre for the Performing Arts. MCC is a U.S.-based group founded in 1968 by pastor Troy Perry who served for nearly 15 years in a well-known evangelical denomination before publicly declaring his lifelong homosexual orientation.

MCC has since established numerous churches around the world for gay Christians; the Calgary event attracted some 1,500-2,000 delegates.

Sitting through the opening worship session of the conference, I noted most components were indistinguishable from the gatherings of any mainstream evangelical group. Indeed, someone walking in unaware of the nature of the gathering easily could have taken the congregational singing for an Alliance, Baptist or Associated Gospel convention. The special music was among the most stirring I’ve heard anywhere in some time.

As I listened to Perry review a lengthy list of incidents of overt discrimination associated with the growth of the denomination, my thoughts turned to my boyhood chums, Garth and Sarah.

I recalled how as youths we had predictably—if somewhat ignorantly and cruelly—laughed at Garth for his effeminate mannerisms, callously calling him “fairy” to his face. I remembered how we’d openly guffawed about the fact we could always count on Sarah when we needed another “guy” to round out a pick-up softball or football team.

My sense of shame was enhanced by the realization that I have no reason to believe either of them was consciously attempting to be any different from the rest of us in terms of trying to establish some kind of self-identity while coping with the awkward reality that at times we all felt like hostages to our adolescent hormones.

As a parent of three teenagers today, I know for a fact that most teens prefer to “fit in” with their peers and actually live in fear of that which would make them stand out as prospective objects of ridicule or any behaviour traits that would render them “different.” Accordingly, I cringe inwardly whenever I hear someone dogmatically assert that homosexuality is always and ever a chosen orientation.

That doesn’t mean I automatically affirm that being homosexual is inevitable for all who make that claim. I merely suspect that if a person of either gender possesses identifiable external characteristics which resemble the opposite gender, the same is likely true of their internal wiring.

And I make no pretence to fully comprehending the keen conflicts that such realities must produce for people like Garth and Sarah.

The evening at MCC helped remind me why it is that on a delicate matter affecting several people that I care about a great deal, I will lovingly resist embracing simplistic solutions to complex issues regardless of which side of the debate advances them.