WINNIPEG, MB—Love Won Out conferences represent a bold foray by Focus on the Family into a debate that has come to occupy much of centre stage within western culture. It’s the debate about normalizing homosexual lifestyles and whether change is possible for persons who want to leave lives as gays or lesbians.

The Love Won Out conference at Calvary Temple in Winnipeg May 14, sponsored by Focus on the Family Canada, drew an attendance of about 400, and argued that homosexuality is both preventable and treatable. Across the street from the church as many as a hundred protesters loudly and often angrily decried the conference and argued otherwise, using bullhorns and epithets.

The conference packed a full day with addresses and seminars from 8 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. It was the 33rd offered by Focus, the third in Canada. Presenters were mainly from the U.S. and included at least four who have left a gay or lesbian life behind them.

“We believe that God does not intend for people to live homosexually,” said Mike Haley, director of gender issues for Focus on the Family’s Public Policy division. Haley, who lived a dozen years as a gay person, said the ministry works with the belief “that Jesus Christ will redeem.” It is a belief that his own story affirms, since there was a time when he would have adamantly insisted that nothing could change his orientation as a gay person.

“Most people would rather not think about homosexuality unless they are forced to,” said Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, the head of NARTH (National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality). But after treating over a thousand men in 15 years, Nicolosi urges the church to put it on their agenda.

Nicolosi argues that homosexuality can usually be explained, and that it is both “preventable and treatable.” He says the claims that children are “born gay” or that “once gay, always gay,” are both not true. He traced what happens at various ages in a child’s life to begin to explain what elements might tilt a child toward a gender identity other than the sex they were born into. “At its root,” he argued, “homosexuality is not a sexual problem, it is a gender-identity problem. Homosexuality is not intrinsic to our true nature.”

Redemptive stories
Two keynote speakers, Haley and Melissa Fryrear, told deeply moving stories about leaving homosexuality. Additionally, Fryrear spoke about the roots of female homosexuality. She said at the age of 13 she was already questioning whether she was gay. For years she lived as a lesbian. Yet when she came to know Christ, she said, “God persuaded [her] in loving ways to leave homosexuality.” It was a journey that involved repentance, obedience, seeing the holiness of God, worship, redemption and love.

Now, as a counsellor and speaker to women who want to leave homosexuality, she has yet to meet one who has “aspired to become homosexually involved,” Fryrear says. She offered some startling statistics: national estimates are that 17-25 per cent of women have been sexually abused, but among lesbian women that rises to 60 per cent. And of those molested, 85 per cent were molested by a male, according to a study done by Anne Paulk.

Others who spoke throughout the day included Dick Carpenter, an American educator, who examined the way schools and the entertainment industry are desensitizing North Americans to view homosexual relations as normal and the moral equivalent to heterosexual relationships.

“The principle is that almost any behaviour begins to look normal if you are exposed to enough of it at close quarters and among your acquaintances,” said Carpenter, quoting from “The Overhauling of Straight America” in Guide magazine. He provided numerous examples from television shows and in-school discussions to show how it is done.

Also speaking was Alan Chambers, head of Exodus International, and Bill Maier, vice-president of Focus on the Family and in-house psychologist, who spoke on same-sex marriage. Maier said that on the question of same-sex marriage, the debate is not about whether homosexuals can be loving parents but “whether marriage is elastic enough to be redefined.” His contention: “marriage has always been the bringing together of man and woman for the raising of children. Only a few societies have been arrogant enough to think they can tinker with marriage without damaging children.”

Outside Calvary Temple, Tye Gamey of the local New Direction for Life Ministry spent an hour and a half speaking with protesters. At one point they actually applauded him. Calvary Temple pastor Bruce Martin carried a box of drinks to the protesters. He told a Winnipeg Sun reporter it was meant to say, “I’m not afraid of you and I care for you.” Others also went out to shake hands with the demonstrators or to speak a few words with them.