All of them are twenty-somethings, and probably all but our youngest would be living elsewhere if not for economic necessity. I see it as a rare opportunity to get to know them as adults about to embark on important changes.

Our oldest son and his wife are planning to leave for Japan in November to teach English as a second language (ESL) for a year or two (maybe more, they tell me). They are both university graduates, but have been unable to find jobs in their fields of training. They are both employed part time at other jobs.

Our second son is working full time at a local call centre (again, not in his field) after completing his university degree. He is trying to get his feet under him financially due to the necessity of having a car plus a significant student loan repayment.

The youngest, our daughter, has completed two years of university and is getting married mid-August—so she and I are in the throes of planning a "small, simple wedding? of just 120 close friends.

If your reaction to my busy household is "Yikes!? don’t worry. I want them here. My kids are special people. They all know the Lord and are excited about what new challenges lay ahead of them. My Japan-bound kids are bold adventurers off to explore the world and new cultures. My bride-to-be is full of hopes and joy as she plans her new life.

However, I have some concerns for them and other Christians their age. As I watch them skim on the surface of church life, I realize they are not really fully comfortable and integrated with what the church offers. They want to be more involved but no one is asking.

I have done some serious thinking about how well Christians and churches are doing to encourage and incorporate young adults into their midst. I’m sure some churches are doing well. But I realize it is a struggle for many churches to know what to do with these twenty-somethings.

Our culture seems to have forced many young adults into an extended version of adolescence—waiting, wanting adult responsibilities, but not yet fully embraced by our economy (or our churches). Why are we holding them back? What is keeping us from truly trusting them and benefitting from their gifts?

I talked to some young adults a bit about this. There doesn’t seem to be a one-size-fits-all solution.

One interesting church that intrigues me offers not just a contemporary worship service, but is really an alternative church. It is geared especially for young adults, with an emphasis on relationships. It requires all members to attend a weekly "living room,? a sort of small group Bible study and social networking time.

"Our living rooms are the primary environment in which our members travel together to godliness. Intensity of relationship, accountability and genuine Christian love are paramount here,” says the Web site for Freedomize, the Toronto church. "We believe that true commitment is required to foster an environment of safety and transparency. To that end only those who have completed our 13-week membership series and have chosen to ‘opt-into’ the FT Community are released into living rooms” (www.freedomize.com).

We need to take our young people seriously. Listen. Encourage. Challenge. Let them take real leadership. Give them responsibility with accountability. Give them space. Do not trample on their ideas. Find out what they like and welcome it. We need to see them as adults, not just older kids.