When the one-hour series finale of Friends airs May 6, the award-winning show will complete a decade as the most-watched show on television. With NBC expecting to fetch two million dollars per 30-second commercial, just slightly less than is paid for a Super Bowl spot, the conclusion to a show about six single adults living in New York is expected to rival other series finales including The Mary Tyler Moore Show, M*A*S*H, Cheers and Seinfeld.
If you know anything about Friends, you realize that at least three of the characters come from significantly dysfunctional families: Phoebe, Rachel and Chandler. And the Gellers aren’t without their idiosyncracies either!
Yet the six friends form their own family. Along with discussions at Central Perk coffee shop and their constant interchanges between apartments, the friends support one another both in their daily lives and special occasions. They celebrate holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas together, rather than try unsuccessfully to once again survive the chaos of their dysfunctional families.
When Phoebe asks Joey to fill-in for her father in her wedding, amidst the humour of Joey asking the groom about his intentions "with my daughter,” the undercurrent of familial affection and mutual responsibility for one another is evident.
Bonds beyond blood
In a culture where a sense of belonging is desperately sought for-yet absent-the family of God should be a concept that builds bonds beyond blood in an otherwise disconnected world.
In a unique and humourous way, Friends demonstrates what a family is to be about. Living together with each other’s strengths, weaknesses and quirks; watching out for and protecting one another individually and as a group; apologizing for mistakes, sharing emotions and continuing to journey together.
In an almost surreal way, the friends have consistently played out their television togetherness in real life with each of the six cast members being paid the same amount per episode-and at various times being willing to strike if they were not paid equally and fairly.
Without condoning the sexual content of Friends, the Church could learn another lesson from the show-how to authentically discuss the sexual culture Christians face today. While some contend that the show is overly explicit in its sexual innuendos, Friends likely presents a more realistic view of the prominence of sexuality in the thoughts, speech and actions of the 20 and 30-something audience than most care to admit.
The Church should be people where authentic relationships and their related frustrations or temptations are openly shared. It would seem even more important in a culture as sexually confused as 21st century North America.
Yet rather than explain biblical principles of relationships, intimacy, and sexuality, and share nitty-gritty applications of the Bible’s perspective on these issues to life for single (or married) men and women, believers often seem satisfied to play the armchair quarterback, criticizing the mistakes from a safe, analytical distance.
Emotional shelter
Perhaps the greatest compliment paid to Friends was that NBC aired the scheduled episode to start the fall 2001 season just 16 days after the terror attacks of September 11 because the show was "comfort food” for a nation. Friends became a temporary haven from the tragedy, horror and pain of the terrorist attacks.
When everything in (North) America was collapsing, literally, around us, Friends was a 30-minute emotional shelter from the panic, confusion and uncertainty of life.
Is that not one of the purposes of the Church, to be a place of relief and healing for weary and wounded people? While Americans also chose to visit their places of worship more frequently in the weeks following 9/11, the example of Christ for the Church also seems to demonstrate a "refuge” ministry as a purpose of its existence.
When tragedy strikes, God’s people should be ones who show grace, compassion and comfort regardless of a person’s background, habits or problems.
Most baby-boomers don’t get Friends. "When are they gonna grow up, get a career, get married and get on with life?” they ask. "Don’t they know that there’s more to life than hanging out with your friends?”
Arguably, many older Christians feel the same way about younger people in their congregation. Whatever the reasons, the bottom line is that people mature differently. Each individual matures in different areas, through different circumstances and at different rates. Some learn quickly; others take a few more hits from the school of hard knocks.
Gentle nurture
As tough as it may be, older believers need to gently nurture these seemingly immature believers, regardless of their rough edges. A plethora of literature explains the emotional and psychological injuries that many 20 and 30-somethings have endured.
Thoughtful Christians can understand why issues of faith, commitment, God-as-Father or any other host of topics would be approached skeptically. Friends illustrates that these people do grow up, eventually. And having seen and experienced the damages of poor decisions, theirs or others, this generation may actually be more intentional and serious in their commitments when they finally make them.
So whether you watch the series finale of Friends or not, I hope you’ll consider that Friends is actually a lot more like the Church should be. The Friends theme song (by The Rembrandts) closes with the words: "I’ll be there for you, ‘cause you’re there for me too.”
Even as the six friends lived out this commitment to one another, the Church could be truly incarnational in modeling hope, genuine community and the agape love of Christ.
Steven C. Ibbotson teaches Bible and Theology at Prairie Bible Institute in Three Hills, Alberta. Contact him by e-mail: steve.ibbotson@prairie.edu
