Festival and family times don’t just happen

It’s up to parents to make Christmas meaningful

SUSAN CONLY
Special to CW

The man on TV made a quip about the commercialism that “we sentimentally call a religious festival.” And I easily recalled my disgust when I walked into the mall and was confronted by a fully decorated Christmas tree against a backdrop of Christmas lights and the strains of “Joy to the World.” It was November 1.

Christmas is really taking a battering this year. Our first snow came at the end of October. The world was sparkling white and I, quite enjoying the sight, said, “Oh, doesn’t it look like Christmas!”

But a friend of mine quickly retorted, “Christmas, I hate Christmas. The very thought makes me sick.” And another replied, “I think we should just forget about Christmas. It’s just a pack of hooey—buy, buy, buy.”

And I stuck my neck out and snarled, “Humbug.”

Forget the guilt trip

I’m rather sick of people trying to make me feel guilty because I enjoy the Christmas season. It becomes a personal choice. Christmas is what you decide to make of it. What happens in your own home is what shapes Christmas for you and your family.

As far back as I can remember, Christmas in our home was the highlight of the year. Even in those desperate, despairing years of the Great Depression, when the toes of our stockings bulged with nothing more than one Japanese orange, a few peanuts and a small homemade gift—even those Christmases were marvelous.

Mine is a strongly Christian heritage and background. There were no carol services in the isolated Prairies of those days. Often blocked roads and sub-zero temperatures ruled out the possibility of a Christmas church service. But the aura of Christmas enveloped our home.

During this season our daily evening Bible reading would be the Christmas story from Luke and the songs we’d sing would be carols. Even as small children we understood that the gift of Christmas was the Christ-child—a surprise gift to the world from God. It was a gift of love.

We gave homemade gifts which were often very meagre but still expressed Christmas love in caring and sharing. Later I encouraged this tradition in my own family. Homemade, costing love rather than money; not a last-minute grab with a consience-easing price tag.

Who’s to blame?

In many of today’s homes, the fundamentally ingrained Advent message is “Have you started your letter to Santa?” and the consequent leafing through the wish book to see who can come up with the biggest and best list. Why, why do adults do this to their children? Aunts, uncles and grandparents all reinforce the message. “What do you want? Have you told Santa?” It has become a pre-Christmas rite.

Is it any mystery why Santa Claus has become the power figure? Why commercialism is rampant? “I want ... I want ... give me, give me” is instilled in children’s minds from the moment they are able to articulate. No wonder the obscenity of Christmas commercialism. These modern parents have bright, intelligent children who learn the lesson early and well.

That’s why it galls when they virtuously intone, “Christmas, it’s just too disgustingly commercial.” And so it is. But who makes it so? You will not make me feel guilty when I anticipate the Christmas season with joy.

The surprise of an unasked-for gift; of remembering that it is all about the first surprise gift, the baby in the manger—this is the power figure of Christmas, the power figure in our lives.

A festival and family time doesn’t just happen. It requires much nurturing by parents attuned to putting the emphasis on the real needs of their children, not shirking and hoping the “letter to Santa” will do the trick.

Take care. What happens in our homes is what shapes the society we pass on to our children.

Susan Conly lives on a heritage farm in west central Saskatchewan. She and her husband are active members of Evesham Community Church.