What the heart wants
Reflections on a wayward organ
By
Gerry Bowler
Special to ChristianWeek
On June 19 Gillian Guess was convicted by a Vancouver court for obstruction of justice. This flamboyant, media-savvy woman had been accused of carrying on an improper relationship with a man on trial for murder, at the same time as she sat on the jury that would acquit him. Even after the verdict, Guess defended her actions and denied any possible conflict of interest. Her real crime, she said, was that she had fallen in love. "My whole life has been ruined. My whole life has been violated," she told reporters. "If I could change things, I guess I would, but you can’t tell your heart what to feel."
That anyone possessed of a functioning brain could fail to see that her actions might prejudice a fair trial speaks to a possible weakness in our jury system. That a fully-grown adult could offer falling in love as an excuse for her perversion of justice speaks volumes about a weakness in our culture–one that places far too much exculpatory value on the state of our emotions.
The classic example of this comes from the not-so-private life of filmmaker Woody Allen. Though involved in what amounted to a marriage with actress Mia Farrow and active in raising her children, he embarked on a sexual relationship with one of these children, prompting widespread outrage. Not only had he betrayed his mate; he also raised uncomfortable questions about the definitions of seduction and incest. But Allen was as unrepentant as Guess and uttered what has by now become the standard defence for allowing emotions to override simple decency. "The heart wants," he said, "what the heart wants."
Free rein
There is little to be surprised at in this kind of attitude. We live in a culture that values giving in to our feelings and encourages us to give free rein to our impulses for the sake of the economy. Nike has spent tens of millions of dollars urging us to "Just Do It" while Sprite broadcasts the command "Obey Your Thirst!" "Sacrifice Nothing," says Mercedes-Benz; "Life is Short," states Reebok. "You Deserve a Break Today," opines You-Know-Who. "Gotta Have It," says Pepsi.
How seldom do we see advertising that says: "Take a While and Think About It, Maybe You Don’t Need Our Product," or "Why Go Into Debt? Repair Your Old Car and Save Thousands." Allen and Guess would be too ashamed to utter their fatuous platitudes about the primacy of selfish emotion in a culture that encouraged sober reflection and discouraged self-indulgence.
Religion has always known that real power lies in self-denial and that fasting and other forms of renunciation have much to offer those who seek to live their faith fully. By denying, for a time, the demands of the flesh or of the heart, we make ourselves more able to master our wayward wills and our environment. Paradoxically we gain through sacrifice.
We do not need to be tempted by illicit affairs with accused murderers or teen-aged beauties in order to practice the virtues of intelligent denial. We can refuse today to be swayed by impulse buying while we do our grocery shopping. We can resist the lure of using the VISA when we lack the cash required. We can quell the temptation to indulge in road rage or pass on a bit of mean-spirited gossip.
While we may not be able to tell our heart what to feel, we need not obey its demands for immediate gratification. Perhaps we should give this renunciation business a little try. Life, after all, is short.
Gerry Bowler is a Winnipeg writer and historian. He can be reached at kjensen@cc.umanitoba.ca. Gillian Guess explains her viewpoint at http://www3.bc.sympatico.ca/GGUESS
