Wandering "sheep" should settle down
Sheila Wray Gregoire
Special to CW
ks_gregoire@sympatico.ca
Churches are frequently accused of "sheep stealing." Every Sunday morning at my church, one of the larger ones in the city, visitors from other congregations arrive to check us out. Their presence, though, doesn't seem to increase our numbers substantially since we're suffering a leak on the other end. Many of our adherents are now filling the pews these travellers have left empty.
"Sheep stealing," then, doesn't really convey what's happening. "Wandering sheep" may be closer to the mark.
I've been quite a wanderer myself. Sometimes the wandering was inspired by church splits; sometimes by disagreements of which, in retrospect, I'm not very proud. Many people are also prompted to wander when they enter a new stage in life. A church that may have suited you for years doesn't seem as appealing when you need the nursery, but the local Goodwill seems to have a better selection of toys.
No doubt there are also valid spiritual reasons for breaking fellowship. Some of my relatives and friends have been "invited to leave" churches that were wobbling towards heresy.
Often, though, our decisions to wander relate not so much to make-it-or-break-it theological issues (those found in the Apostle's Creed, for instance) as they do to more minor issues, such as baptism, the type of worship or the position of women. Many of these are crucial for people; they certainly have been for me, and in our university days when we were sure we knew everything and our elders knew nothing, we left several churches because of them.
Others of my friends have left churches not to join others but to start their own. Nothing was quite up to par, so the only solution was to start again. In the Protestant tradition these attempts are hardly unique, and many of them have resulted in, and perhaps even from, some wonderful revivals.
But perhaps just as often, and not quite as visibly, such efforts result in congregations that too easily veer away from the truth. Even if they do stay on track, energy that could be spent building up existing programs is spent creating things from scratch, duplicating efforts and costing precious funds.
As I watch all these efforts, I'm starting to wonder if the current fascination with finding "the perfect church" has weakened our ability to let God create it.
In Commitment to Conquer, Bob Beckett says God began to transform the entire community of Hemet, California when people stopped asking if the church suited them, and instead committed themselves to bloom where God had planted them. They recognized that once they committed to the church, they would invest more heavily in it and make sure it was on the right path.
A lack of commitment not only hurts churches; it also threatens our own spiritual journey. Being committed to a body means people will get to know you, warts and all. God can use this intimacy to refine us, something that isn't as easy if we change churches every few years when people start to get close.
We can also have a more positive influence on our churches once we commit. People know we're not leaving, so they respect our concerns. We've stuck by when decisions were made we may not have liked. That confers a moral authority, as others understand you care deeply about the body, no matter what happens. And if you know you're going to stay, as those in Hemet found, you will do your utmost to try to ensure the church is indeed heading in the right direction!
We all wonder sometimes if we should move on, and certainly those times may come. Sometimes a church's leadership has become so ineffectual that nothing but a shake-up will send it in the right direction again.
However, those instances are probably not as frequent as the number of church hops would suggest. Until most people can commit to a body, churches will always worry more about keeping those they have than about reaching others for Jesus. Commitment brings freedom for our churches to grow. It's a freedom I pray we may all begin to taste.
Sheila Wray Gregoire is a freelance author in Ontario. Her book, To Love, Honour and Vacuum: When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother (Kregel), was released this month. www.sheilawraygregoire.com
